is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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