so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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