I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
