and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
