Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
