woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
