That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We left the knife in your bed.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
