If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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