Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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