So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
