i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
