The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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