Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
