Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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