how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
