im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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