But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
