I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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