Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
