Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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