Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
