NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
