i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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