I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
