3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
