what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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