I showed him my bush... on skype.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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