But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
