doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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