Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
