I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
