i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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