my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
