Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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