I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
