are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
