why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
