lets start a swedish sibling band together
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
