I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
