He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
it glows. i had to have it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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