You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
