is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
