Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
