found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
