I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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