so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
