i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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