its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
