we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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