I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Less talking, more tequila
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
